Monster Mash part three

Oct 29, 2013 by     Comments Off on Monster Mash part three    Posted under: Adam Drew This, Adam Wrote This
Frankenstein’s grumpiest creation gets dragged to a nightclub by a vampire–then finds himself on a double date with The Bride. Then he’s dragged into his all-time worst fear: a mob of writhing, maddened humans.  (They call it a dance floor.)

Charlene drags Frank towards the dance floor. So many humans. Charlene feels Frank tense up. They stop. “Hey, Big Guy. It’s okay. This is going to be fun. Close your eyes.”

Frank gives her a skeptical look.

“Trust me,” she says.

Frank dutifully closes his eyes.

“Good,” says Charlene. “Feel that beat? That vibration going through you, like your heart can’t work on its own?” She starts to gently pull his hands back and forth to the beat. “That music wants you to move.”

Many revelers have self-lighting costumes. Others twirl glow-sticks with the precision of Cirque du Soleil acrobats. Fire-breathers on the sidelines send bursts of light and heat above the crowd. Several dancers suck on glowing pacifiers. And then there’s Frank. He’s ready to run. But Charlene smiles reassuringly. And tickles him. He staggers back and can’t help but laugh.

Charlene uses her body to move Frank. As she does, Frank sweats and discards his Groucho Marx glasses. Charlene leads Frank in a salsa. The cha-cha.  A mini tango.  Biting his lip, Frank hesitantly tries a swing step, throwing Charlene into a spin and pulling her back.

“I thought you said you don’t really dance,” says Charlene.

Frank says, “I’ve been working on that one swing move since before you were born. That’s all I’ve got.”

“Show me,” says Charlene. Frank executes the move again. Charlene goes with it and smooths it out, making Frank look good. Frank smiles as the song ends. He decides to go for it and leans in for a kiss. Charlene recoils.

Frank stammers, “I’m sorry … I … ”

Charlene turns away. “It’s okay.”

The moment is gone. Frank says, “Let’s get some air.”

Frank and Charlene go through the back doors to find a little garden oasis. The cool night is a relief.  Frank points to Optimus Prime leaning against a wall with his head off, revealing a sweaty human inside. Two Sailor Moon characters are helping a friend unzip from a heavy Godzilla suit. Charlene doesn’t really respond.  She just stares at the ground.

“Charlene,” Frank says, “I know you’re probably just doing Birdie a favor showing up here tonight and didn’t really want to get set up with some guy you’ve never met.”

Charlene smiles wryly. “That’s true … but I really was having a good time in there. I’m just … ” She trails off, her face going blank.

“Sorry,” says Frank.

Charlene says, “Don’t worry about it.” Suddenly, she bounces back. “How about all these costumes? They got a really great turn out tonight.” Charlene’s eyes sparkle.

Charlene sees a group dressed like Willy Wonka, Oompa Loompas, Everlasting Gobstoppers, Nerds and Laffy Taffy. “Isn’t that your friend over there?”

Frank spots Gillian with a big grin on her face. “Hey, Gillian.”

“Oh … hi, Frank.” Gillian gets up and hugs Frank. “I love you, Frank. You’re the best.” Frank glances at Charlene. This never happens.

“I love you too, Gillian,” says Frank. He peels her off. He glares at the candy themed humans. “Who are your new friends?”

Gillian burbles, “Oh, these guys are my bestest friends and we were just talking about the Amazon and the rainforest and I was getting homesick.” Some of the candy themed humans wave. Frank thinks they’re all stoned. Or … what’s worse than stoned?  Congenitally brain damaged?

The Laffy Taffy human says, “Dude, Gillian has the most wicked costume ever … And she’s totally in character with all that “Land of the Lost” stuff. She rocks!”

Frank frowns.  “I agree.” He turns Gillian away from her “friends.”

Charlene looks at Gillian’s eyes. They’re big, even for a prehistoric amphibian. “Did you take something?”

“Just some good stuff.” Gillian squirms away from Frank and plops down next to an Oompa Loompa. “These guys are just the best.”

Frank looks at Gillian’s clutch of new, stoned friends.  Who do I kill first?

Charlene turns to the most coherent one, Willie Wonka. “What did you give her?”

“Oh, she’s totally cool, man. She just had a tab of E.”

Suddenly, Willie Wonka is gasping for air, his feet dangling. Frank’s fingers tighten around the man’s neck. The candy humans look scared. Charlene puts her hand on Frank’s arm. “Easy, Frank. Don’t ruin our nice little date thing we’ve got going on.”

Frank’s lips pull away from his teeth in a snarl.

“Frank!” shouts Gillian.

He drops Willie Wonka and Charlene steadies him. “Tell me about the dope. Was it from a reputable dealer? Clean stuff?”

Willie Wonka gasps. “The E she took, it’s nothing harmful. She just seemed kinda down … It’ll last about six hours and she’ll be back to normal. She’s just feeling really huggy right now. That’s all.” He smiles nervously at Frank.

Frank bends down to talk to Gillian, who is laughing shoulder to shoulder with the now freaked-out humans. “Gillian, I think we should go now.”

Gillian pushes Frank away. “No. Stay here …” She wheezes. “ … with friends.” She laughs, leaning into an Oompa Loompa human and giving him a squishy hug. The humans smile, but their eyes are terrified.

Charlene pulls Frank to his feet. “I think they’re harmless.”

Frank listens to Gillian’s breathing. She hasn’t been out of the water THAT long. Is she always this raspy?

Frank frowns. “I’m getting Drake. Don’t leave her.”

Frank runs back into the club. He is assaulted with noise, sweat and chaos. He can’t spot Drake anywhere. But Warren is holding court with a bevy of beautiful women. Frank pushes through them and grabs Warren. “Where’s Drake?”

“Dude, chill. You’re kinda messing with my thing here,” says Warren.

Through gritted teeth Frank says, “It’s important.”

Warren snaps to attention. “On it.” Warren smiles apologetically to his admirers. “Excuse me, ladies. I’ll be right back.” Warren leaves the group of pouting women. He sniffs the air. “This way.”

Warren draws back the curtain of a private booth revealing Drake and Birdy making out. They are startled. Frank feels a pang of jealousy and disgust.

Drake glares at him. “Geez, Frank. Can’t you go more than five minutes without whining about how you want to go home?”

Frank reaches into the booth and pulls Drake out. “It’s Gillian.”

“Oh. Right,” says Drake. “Show me.”

Moments later Drake’s glowing eyes are trained on Willie Wonka. “Well, he’s telling the truth. The E is probably ‘good’ … but still.”

Birdie consults Google on her phone. “It looks like she’ll be fine. We just need to keep Gillian hydrated.”

Willie Wonka pipes up, “Oh, dude, I got a water bottle.”

Birdie looks at Gillian’s fluttering gills. “No, I mean, really hydrated.”

Frank kneels next to Gillian gingerly feeling her dry skin. “Not good.” He picks her up. He can’t take her to a hospital. What would the humans do? Cage her? Dissect her?

Charlene touches Frank’s arm. “There’s a water tank behind the bar. With a mermaid in it. If anyone can help Gillian, it’s Mary. Birdie and I have worked a couple gigs here with her. I’ll get you backstage.”

Frank looks at Charlene gratefully. He’s scared.  Charlene leads Frank through security to the backstage area. A platform overlooks the giant mermaid tank. Frank climbs up and gently lowers Gillian into the tank. Gillian smiles dreamily at Frank as holds her.

“Hey!” Mary the Mermaid surfaces looking irritated. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Gillian bubbles, “Ooh … mermaid!”

Mary’s anger fades. She swims close. Mary and Gillian exchange some squeaks and chirps.  Both smile.  Mary looks at Frank and says, “It’s okay … just girl-talk.”  Mary takes Gillian from Frank’s protective arms. “I’ll take care of your friend.” Frank nods. Mary takes Gillian down into the sunken castle scene in the tank. He sees Gillian point at him and turn to Mary. They giggle.

“Frank … she’s going to be fine,” says Birdie. Frank frowns at Birdie. Could this be any more awkward?

Frank says, “Where are Drake and Charlene?”

Birdie says, “She’s giving Drake the once-over, making sure he’s good boyfriend potential for me.”

Frank sits at the edge of the platform looking down into the water.  Maybe if I ignore her, she’ll go away. Instead, Birdie steps closer to Frank.  He doesn’t look at her.  The silence isn’t comfortable.

From below Drake screams. Frank and Birdie whirl around as they hear Charlene scream too.

Continued in part four!

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